


How to: Relationship

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:26:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2393399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fuma and Kento go from "friends" to "more", they have a lot to figure out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to: Relationship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thunderylee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/gifts).



> Hey everyone! So this took ages to write and is officially my longest one shot, so I hope you will enjoy it!  
> Kudos to everyone who edged me on through this - you know exactly who I am looking at ❤  
> Also as an (early) birthday gift for Ri - stay as amazing as you are, I love you :)

Fuma’s POV

“I’ve had enough!” I announced, making Kento look up from arranging his futon in our shared tatami room to blink at me in confusion.

“Huh?” he asked, but I did not speak up to explain. 

Instead I grabbed his chin and pulled him into a determined kiss. Kento made a soft noise of surprise, but did not push me away, and I brushed my lips against his eagerly, marveling at the way my skin tingled at the contact, excitement rushing through my nerves.

Kento was kissing me back, nibbling at my lower lip almost shily, and it made me want to taste him, to run my tongue against those lips and -

I could not act on the impulse, though, because next thing I knew, the door opened, and Kento and I had just enough time to jump apart before Shori turned around the corner, chatting happily about whatever Marius had written him in his last message and plopping down on Kento’s freshly put up futon as if he belonged there. 

Sometimes I wondered why we even jankened over the single room when Shori ended up changing to ours anyways whenever he won. It was time we traveled as five again, so he would have other people around to bother. 

Not unexpectedly, Shori claimed Kento’s futon completely for the night, and Kento ended up awkwardly lying between whatever space Shori had left him and the floor, so I pulled him onto mine with a sigh, covering us both with the blanket. 

Kento turned to face me, and I could barely see more than the reflection of the little light falling through the curtains in his eyes, the room otherwise too dark to make out more than silhouettes. 

I felt myself staring back at him anyways, wrapping my arms around his waist to pull him against me, and Kento helpfully skidded that tiny bit closer until I could feel the heat of his body. 

“Shori has a creepy timing” he breathed, so low that only I could hear it even if Shori had not been passed out already, and I snorted softly. 

“Always interrupting the parents” I agreed, and Kento chuckled. “And that when I’d finally gathered my courage.”

Kento softly brushed his lips against mine again in response to that, and I closed my eyes and let him indulge me in a series of light, gentle kisses that made my head spin. 

Both of us froze when Shori stirred, but he merely cuddled deeper into the pillow, making Kento sigh and pull back to look at me again. 

“We should sleep, too” he whispered, and I nodded, moving the palm of my hand up his spine until it rested between his shoulder blades, comfortable there. 

Kento let out a happy sigh before closing his eyes, and I smiled as I gave in to the exhaustion of the day as well. 

***

I woke up a few minutes before the alarm went off, and it gave me just enough time to regard Kento’s sleeping face for a while and move away before Shori opened his eyes. 

We teamed up in burying Kento under pillows and his futon when he refused to get up, and as he kicked for us in disorientation, I thought with some relief that some things would probably never change. 

The situation between Kento and me went mostly back to normal after this. We were never alone and always busy, causing us to never exchange more than a few secret glances, and it frustrated me a little, because when I had kissed him, I had wanted to put an end to this constant dancing-around-each-other. But apparently, with our circumstances, that was harder to be done than estimated.

“ _Was it a dream?_ ” Kento texted me about a week later, when I was lying in bed trying to finish reading the chapter we would discuss in tomorrow’s class, and even though it made me frown, I could not blame him for having to ask. 

“ _No. It happened, and I was entirely serious about it_ ” I answered, staring at the chat window until a reply appeared. 

“ _So… what does this mean?_ ” Kento enquired, and I closed my book with a sigh, knowing this conversation would take a while. Once Kento started discussing, especially about feelings, it went deep and took time and effort. 

“ _It means that I like you and I’m done with pretending there isn’t anything going on between us. Aren’t you?_ ” I wrote back, trying to be as blunt and as unmistakable as possible. The last thing we needed were more loopholes to hide in. 

“ _So… you want to date, or…?_ ”

“ _Yes. I want to be with you already. Or did I misunderstand?_ ”

“ _No, you didn’t. I just didn’t think you felt the same for me._ ”

“ _Well, I do._ ”

It was kind of ironic, how we had such an important conversation via text messages, but then again, somehow, it suited us. I had always been bad at talking about important things and Kento had a way of twisting words inside his head when they were not put out clearly for him, and like this, letters on a screen, nothing could go wrong. 

“ _It feels a little surreal. Especially since we can’t do much at work_ ” Kento noted.

“ _Yeah, it’s annoying. We will have to think of ways to meet outside of work to, you know, figure this out_ ” I responded. 

“ _I wished I knew how, though. My schedule is full of drama filming and variety shows and band stuff :(_ “

I sighed, rolling onto my back because I knew that he was right, and I could not blame him for it. Only a few weeks back, I had been rotating back and forth between shootings and everyday life myself. 

“ _Well, we needed 6 years to come this far. It’s not like I can’t wait for another while until you find time for m_ e” I retaliated.

“ _It should better not take another 6 years, though_ ” he returned. 

“ _It should not even take 6 weeks_ ” I warned. 

“ _I… will try my best._ ” 

I chuckled, stretching out on my bed, closing my eyes with a smile. I only opened them again when my phone buzzed once more. 

“ _What are you to me now, though? My boyfriend?_ ” Kento asked, and the words made my skin tingle weirdly in appreciation. 

“ _Yes. So you’d better not flirt too much with the ladies on the set, no matter how beautiful they are._ ”

“ _Jealous boyfriend, I see. I will remember that._ ”

We sent each other a few more silly smiley faces, and for some reason, I felt like this was the best start to a relationship I had ever had. 

***

Thankfully, it took only two more days until I first caught Kento alone. I found him in the deserted dressing room, fumbling with the straightening iron, and he yelped a little as I unplugged it and took it out of his hands, putting it safely onto the table before pulling him into a corner of the room, hidden behind the small wall separating it from the bathrooms. 

“Hey” I grinned before covering his lips with mine, and Kento wrapped his arms around my shoulders without any hesitation, letting me press him against the wall to finally seal our relationship with the necessary intimacy. 

It was almost ridiculous how _easy_ and pleasant kissing Kento was, as if it came as a second nature to me, and maybe it did, maybe it had been supposed to happen like this all along. I tried not to ponder over the time we had wasted, instead licking over his plush, soft lips until they parted, allowing me to explore his mouth.

Kento tasted like coffee, and it was so typical for him that it made me smile, chasing his tongue to taste more of it. 

The door opened and we pulled apart to stare at each other, frozen in place, not even daring to breathe hidden in our little corner. 

“Fuma-Kun? Kento-Kun?” Marius called, but we did not react, and when the door closed again and we could hear him call for Sou in the corridor, we sighed in relief. 

We had just enough time to get back to our respective places before the door opened again and Shori peaked inside, calling to Marius that we were in the dressing room, after all.

“But I just checked and they were not here!” Marius complained defensively, looking at us suspiciously.

“We were here all the time?” Kento shrugged, poker face on, and Shori just raised an eyebrow at Marius.

“I swear they weren’t here!” he called, but no one was listening to him anymore, and I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling. 

“ _Poor Marius. He might think he is hallucinating now_ ” Kento wrote me later that night, and I chuckled, leaning back against my pillows to answer him. 

“ _I will buy him a drink as an apology._ ”

“ _How paternal of you._ ”

“ _I try my best._ ”

***

We started texting more frequently then, and with this, it felt like we finally managed to completely move this thing between us to the next level, leaving the status “friends” behind and behaving at least a little couply, in the limited ways we had available. 

“ _I am tiiiireeeeed_ ” Kento whined into our chat window one late afternoon while he was out filming and I was at home studying. 

“ _Take a nap? You’re on break, right?_ ” I suggested absentmindedly, before putting the phone down and writing another sentence to my essay, only to pick it up again when it vibrated.

“ _Can’t. We are outside and there is no quiet corner to take a rest._ ”

“ _That sucks :( Shall I come and cuddle you?_ ”

“ _Pffft. You wouldn’t do that even if you were here._ ”

“ _Says who?_ ”

“ _Experience. You get embarrassed when being affectionate to me. It’s always been that way.”_

_“You want to tell me I don’t know how to be loving towards my boyfriend?!_ ” I demanded, now officially distracted and slightly put off. 

“ _I don’t know~~~ Can you?_ ” 

Kento’s answer was playful, but I could not help but take it a tiny bit seriously.

“ _Come over to my place after work and I will cuddle you until you forget how to breathe._ ”

“ _Idiot. I don’t get off work until after 9._ ”

“ _Then stay over?_ ”

“ _Perv._ ”

“ _What is your idea of cuddling that you call me a perv?!_ ”

I had not even meant it when I had first suggested it, only the longer we discussed about it, the more I wanted him to agree, and in the end, my homework lay forgotten on the table as I offered Kento to lend him clothes for tomorrow and drive him to university, all to have him spend the night with me. 

“ _What am I supposed to tell my parents? Or yours, when I suddenly turn up?_ ” he asked. 

“ _I dunno. We are planning a thing for Shori’s BDay or something…_ ”

“ _.......Stop this, I am starting to actually consider this._ ”

“ _Good, then finally say yes, before I drive out and get you from work to make sure you can’t escape._ ”

There was a long break after that, in which I wondered if I had maybe been too eager, but apparently, Kento had just been called for shooting or something, because when he answered about 40 minutes later, it was a simple: “ _Fine, I am coming, but if you don’t let me sleep I will make you regret it!_ ”, and it made me smile stupidly to myself before I got up to tell my mother. 

When Kento finally arrived, I caught him at the door before he had a chance to ring the doorbell, reminding him that my younger siblings were already asleep as I let him inside. 

We were held up by my parents for a short chat, and when we had made our way upstairs to my room, the first thing I did was push fresh clothes towards him. 

“Get under the shower, you reek” I teased, only half joking, and Kento made a face.

“Loving boyfriend, I see.”

“Shut up, you!”

Kento laughed, but took the clothes and left without further complaints. When he returned about 20 minutes later, his hair was still damp and I loved the way he looked in my shirt entirely too much. He dumped his own clothes carelessly onto his bag before letting himself fall onto the mattress next to me with a deep sigh.

I lost no time in wrapping myself around him like a human blanket, one arm sneaking under his neck for him to use as a pillow, the other wrapping around his waist and one leg thrown over his for good measure, making him chuckle with eyes closed.

“Hey” I said happily, and Kento opened his eyes to smile up at me. 

“Wow, you were serious about that cuddling business.”

“Be happy I am not crawling underneath your skin” I teased, and Kento made a face, but relaxed when I hugged him even tighter, kissing his lips softly. 

“This is nice” he murmured into the kiss. “I might demand that more often now.”

“It’s not me who is always busy” I reminded him, and Kento made a weird sound between agreement and yawn before squirming in my embrace until he was lying on his side and was able to snuggle into my chest. 

I smiled as I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling softer without any products applied to it, keeping me distracted for a while. 

“Are you already sleeping?” I asked when he had become a little too still, but he made a vague sound of being conscious, telling me he was listening without looking up. ”That exhausted?”

“Yes” Kento whined. “Also, you are warm and it relaxes me.”

“Hmmm” I only made, smiling. I leaned down to kiss his forehead, lingering a little before whispering against his skin: “You can come here and stay over any time you want, you know. You have a special resident permit now that we are dating.”

“But won’t it be suspicious if I come over too much?” Kento sighed.

“I was going to tell my parents about us, anyways” I shrugged. “I’m not especially keen on keeping it a secret, at least not from them. Just wanted to find the right moment.”

“You are serious about me” Kento noted.

“Of course. Did you have any doubts about that?” I frowned. 

“It’s sometimes hard to figure out what you’re thinking” Kento admitted. “Half the time I still wonder if I am imagining all of this.”

I huffed, and Kento tightened his arms around me. 

“It’s not your fault. I have liked you for so long that it’s hard to take in that you are not out of reach anymore.”

“You did?” I murmured, running small circles onto his lower back. “For how long?”

“A few years, on and off” Kento said easily, despite the heavy subject. “I kept trying to convince myself that I misunderstood my own feelings, so it’s hard to say how long it’s really been.”

“Oh” I said softly, kissing his temple. “I realized it last year, around the time when we were fighting. It was hard to ignore how much I thought about you back then, and it had me pondering… I did not want to ruin anything between us by confessing, though, especially after we had just made up, so I decided to keep quiet.”

“What made you change your mind?” Kento murmured.

“I am not sure” I said honestly, mustering him. “I just felt like I could not be imagining this tension between us, and the longer we just pretended that it didn’t exist, the more it began to annoy me.”

“This is so like you” Kento chuckled. “Frustration ruling over fear. I wished I could be like that sometimes.”

“Don’t” I frowned. “It gets me into trouble more often than not, and I need you to be rational and pick up the pieces when that happens.”

“Did you just admit to depending on me?” Kento teased lazily. 

“Don’t let it get to your head, Nakajima!”

Kento laughed tiredly, stretching against me, making a cute little sound deep in his throat that had me smiling to myself. 

I wrapped myself further around him wordlessly, and soon, Kento’s breathing evened out, and I knew that he was asleep. I did not mind at all, just cutting the lamp on the bedside table and closing my eyes, too. 

***

The next time we were able to find time for each other, it was on Kento’s last day of filming, and it was just because I had asked his mother to let me in while he was still out so I could surprise him. 

It was only a little awkward when his mother chatted me up in her best ‘Come here, son-in-law’ manner, but the muffins she offered me were actually delicious and the questions only a little embarrassing.

Afterwards I made myself comfortable on his bed, keeping myself busy with my phone until Kento burst through the door, blinking at me in surprise before grinning.

“Thanks for telling me I have a visitor, Mum!” Kento called sarcastically through the apartment, but he closed the door before she could respond, and I stook out my tongue as I put my phone onto the bedside table and got up to greet him properly. 

“Welcome home, darling” I said in my best Fuuko manner, batting my eyelashes. “You worked hard.”

Kento snorted, but leaned in to kiss me anyways, slow and lingering. When he pulled away, I wrinkled my nose, and before I could even speak up, Kento rolled his eyes and said: “Fine, I will go shower first.”

I stuck out my tongue at him and let myself fall back into the bed, watching him buzz about the room before disappearing. When he returned, I barely had time to put down my phone again before he was already on top of me, legs entwined with mine and holding himself up with his palms on both sides of my head. 

“You’re still wet” I complained, mustering his hair, and Kento brushed his bangs against my nose in revenge, making me squirm. 

“You talk too much” Kento decided firmly, and proceeded to shut me up with his lips, immediately slipping his tongue between them to deepen it, and I closed my eyes and left the dominance to him, weirdly pleased by his aggressiveness. 

It was more intense than all other kisses we had exchanged until now, with Kento nipping at my tongue eagerly and his whole weight pressing down on me, and I could not help but let my hands wander, mapping out the lines of his back through his shirt before brushing them over his butt.

It made Kento break our kiss, and I whined in protest as he pulled back to look at me, eyes dark and glazed, making me shiver slightly under his gaze. 

“Am I allowed to touch you?” He whispered, and I would have laughed if he had not been so earnest, because it had been more than a month now since we had first kissed and if we were moving any slower we’d actually be walking backwards. 

But it wasn’t like I couldn’t understand his insecurity - the opportunities we had had until now to actually act on our feelings had been limited, and it made everything still seem so new, and every step we were able to take seemed like a milestone. 

So instead of making fun of him, I just nodded, leaning up to chase his lips, gasping against them when Kento’s hand slid under my shirt. 

Kento’s fingers had always drawn my attention to them, because they were elegant and fascinating, and feeling them skim over the skin of my stomach up to my chest made me feel electrified and hypersensitive. Kento’s touch was curious, mapping every part of my torso and exploring it, making me feel shivery and hot as I tried to keep up with the way he was kissing me. 

His fingertips brushed over my nipples, and I involuntarily jerked my hips up against his, taking note of the bulge in his sweat pants rubbing against mine. 

It was suddenly all I could take - I pushed myself up, forcing Kento to backtrack until he was all but sitting in my lap, blinking at me in slight confusion, lips parted as he fought for breath.

With a quick movement, I had pulled my shirt over my head and was reaching for his, and Kento squirmed, stuttering: “A-are we going to… do it?” as I undressed him. 

“Well, going all the way might not be a good idea, considering we are not prepared” I murmured, my movements slowing down as I caught his gaze. “But we can do other things?”

“Yes” Kento nodded, seeming reassured by that, and I finally got rid of his shirt as well, cupping his cheek. 

Kento closed his eyes at the touch, and I let my thumb caress his jawline, before letting my hand wander downwards. Kento tilted his head back, letting me draw featherlight touches over his throat, his adams apple trembling as he gulped. I let my fingers continue their journey downwards, over collarbones and sternum until they were dipping into his belly button. 

Kento moaned softly when I rubbed the obvious bulge through the fabric of his pants, finally opening his eyes again to stare at me scorchingly. 

“I’ve never touched another guy like this” I admitted. “It should feel weird, but somehow, it doesn’t.”

“Then touch me more” he prodded, his voice rough, and I smiled. 

“Get out of your pants if you want my hands on you” I teased, and despite the tension of the situation, Kento rolled his eyes at me as he moved next to me on the bed to do just that. 

I wasted no time kicking off my own remaining clothes and pulling the blanket free from underneath us, covering our naked bodies under them and skimming closer to Kento. 

Kento turned onto his side to face me, and we just looked at each other for a moment, as if confirming that it was really the other we were in bed with. My eyes wandered down until they focused on his erection, and I reached out almost unconsciously to touch it. 

Kento groaned as I wrapped my hand around him, jerking his hips, and I could relate to how worked up he was, feeling almost painfully hard at touching him this intimately.

“You too” I whispered, reaching for his hand with my free one and leading it down, whimpering when he brushed his thumb over my tip tentatively. Kento seemed encouraged by that, fisting me and squeezing gently, and I leaned in for a messy kiss. 

Even though I had been with girls before, they had never known just how to touch me, but with Kento, that was different. He knew instinctively what to do and just what rhythm to get into, and it reduced me to soft moans and gasps as I tried to keep focused, to keep returning the favor the best I could, and judging by Kento’s noises, it was good enough. 

I pulled back from the kiss just a moment before he came, feeling him tremble before he made a choked sound and spurted over my fingers. I drank in the expression on his face, the need to finish myself growing urgent just from seeing him come undone under my touch, so I closed my fingers around his when they stilled their movements, making him continue. 

Kento got the message, blinking his eyes open through his haze to kiss me, tightening his grip and speeding up, and I moaned onto his tongue as the pleasure overwhelmed me. 

Kento kept touching me until I was jerking from hypersensitivity, and even then, he smoothed my palm over my stomach as if to ease me back to reality. 

I silently searched for his lips, and we kissed softly, riding out the sensations until it became hard to breathe and we slumped against the pillow, panting.

“Well… as far as first gay experiences go, this one was pretty great” I murmured, and Kento let out a choked laugh. 

“I hope you don’t change your mind when we actually have sex” he noted, rolling closer to rest his head on my chest, and I smiled as I threw an arm around him. 

“Not likely to happen” I ensured him, and Kento just raised his eyebrows without opening his eyes. “I will make both of us feel good.”

Kento blinked at that, looking up at me with a frown.

“That… sounds like you want to top” he said slowly, and my smile faded.

“Well… yeah, I was planning to.”

“... Maybe I was planning to, as well.”

I only stared at him in silence, and Kento held my gaze. 

“But you are a virgin!” I blurted out, making Kento flush brightly.

“You have never slept with a guy either!” he protested, sitting up and looking down at me reproachfully, cutting me off when I opened my mouth to argue. “And girls don’t count, that’s completely different!”

“Of course they count” I grumbled.

“I am the older one” Kento pointed out crossly.

“And I am the taller one!”

“What kind of argument is that?!”

“A better one than yours!” 

We glared at each other for a moment, before I let out a sigh and shook my head.

“Somehow, it figures that we get worked up about this kind of stuff” I noted, and Kento’s expression softened at that. 

“I guess we can’t turn off our competitiveness even in bed.”

“It’s kind of funny, if you think about it” I smiled, and Kento chuckled. “It’s not like we can’t change positions whenever we want, though” I said slowly, trying to think about this rationally. “We don’t need to give each other set roles.”

“No, but someone needs to be bottom the first time we do it” Kento reminded me.

“Well… yes”

We looked at each other for a moment, before I started laughing, and Kento joined in, letting himself fall into my embrace again in defeat. 

“Well, I guess we don’t have to decide that tonight” I murmured. 

“But at some point, we have to.”

“Maybe one of us will give in by themselves at some point.”

“...... How long have we been friends, Fuma?”

“Fine, okay. We will think of something. Just not tonight.”

Kento snorted, but pliantly let me pull him further against me, pressing his face into my neck. 

“We can just… you know… take slow steps” I said, nosing his hair and taking a deep breath, marveling at the scent of his shampoo. “Until we get used to the idea. Without having to decide yet.”

“Sounds good” Kento murmured, and I could feel him smile against my skin.

I hummed and closed my eyes, concentrating on the way his chest rose and fell with his breath, slowly drifting off with it.

***

There were so many things to pay attention to in our new relationship, though, that the sex issue was kind of cast into the background for now. 

I did not really feel like much had changed between Kento and me, but it were moments like when we were paired up for dual shoots and the photographer told us to get just that tiny bit closer, to touch and to look at each other, that I realized how much being with him had really changed the whole atmosphere. 

If there had been one unwritten expectation of us as shinme it had probably always been for us to look like we had something going on even though we hadn’t. Now, though, we actually had, and no one else was supposed to know, amusing me in its irony, making me crack up in the most serious of shootings, and making both the photographer and Kento raise their eyebrows at me.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Kento demanded, laughing himself as I cracked up for the third time that day, giggles I didn’t seem to be able to stop shaking my body. “You are acting strange, moron!”

“I am fine!” I argued, taking deep breaths to calm myself down, only to make Kento laugh at me in response. 

“Can you two please focus?” the photographer sighed, and we both cleared our throats, trying to get things together. It took only another minute and our eyes meeting to burst out laughing again (this time, it was Kento who had started), and the photographer looked at Shori for help.

Shori just shrugged, mustering us intently as he murmured: “I would like to say they always behave this strangely, but this is kind of a new level…”

It made me throw one of the pillows on this couch at him, but he ducked successfully. 

***

“I want a date” Kento announced later that night, when we were on the way to our cars. “A _real_ date, not just a home thing.” When I looked at him with raised eyebrows, he murmured, a little more quietly: “We’re a couple now, right? We are supposed to go out on dates!”

“We are no normal couple, though” I noted. “You realize that if we are seen on a date together, it will be as good as coming out!”

“Why?” Kento demanded. “They know that we are friends, and as long as we don’t hold hands in public, it will be like friends going out! You go out with Juri all the time!”

“... well…” I said slowly, realizing that he had a point. “I guess so…”

“We have a free day on Sunday, right?” he prodded. “Let’s go somewhere. Please.”

“Okay, okay” I laughed, lacing our fingers together in a form of reassurance. I should have known that Kento wanted to be wooed. I had known him long enough to realize that, even though ‘Kenty’ was a mask, the desire for romance and love underneath was real and deep. “You will get your date! Where do you want to go?”

“I… don’t know?” Kento blinked, obviously not having thought that far yet, and I snorted. 

“Figures” I murmured, before quickly deciding: “ _I_ will think of something. You will just end up making it cheesy and we will be Fridayed.” Kento pursed his lips, and I added: “Knowing you, you’d bring us straight to Disney Land.”

“Jinguji and everyone just went to Disney Land, so why can’t we?” he murmured, and I rolled my eyes, inwardly noting to keep that date spot in mind for special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries. 

“I will invite you somewhere nice” I promised, stopping when we reached his car and leaning in to whisper in his ear. “I will spoil you until you stop pouting over Disney Land.”

“This is not right, I’m the older one, I should be inviting you” Kento side-eyed me. “Usually you try to make everyone pay for you, so why - _Is this because you want me to be the bottom_?!”

“No!” I groaned, hitting him on the back of his head. “God, stop thinking I have ulterior motives. You are the one who is acting all girly about the date thing!”

“I am not _girly!”_ he protested, and I narrowed my eyes. “Shall we ask the fans who looks better as a girl?!”

I had half a mind to snap something back, but then I went ahead and just pulled him into a possessive kiss, only letting go when he turned pliant in my arms and I was sure he had lost all motivation to fight me. 

“Stop making everything a competition” I whispered goodnaturedly, pecking the tip of his nose. “And just look forward to our first real date.”

“... People could have seen that, stupid” Kento chuckled, slightly flushed but obviously softened as he glanced around the still deserted parking area. 

“Don’t complain, you totally like the excitement” I teased, and Kento’s eyes narrowed, but he was still smiling as he poked me into the side with his car keys. “Oww!”

“I need to go now” he announced. “Put proper effort into planning this date, or I will be the whiny girlfriend you put me for all day!”

I laughed, kissing him once more before finally waving goodbye and making my way to my own car. 

***

We ended up driving out to Odaiba together on Sunday. I figured no one would think it strange if we were seen together shopping and hanging out there, and Kento seemed happy enough when I introduced him to the idea, so I was quite content with myself.

Going out with Kento was pretty much the same as it had always been, I realized as we strolled through the huge malls, getting excited over tiny things and trying to make each other buy the most ridiculous stuff. But then there were moments, like when I seriously found myself contemplating to buy that necklace Kento had looked at to give it to him, only stopping myself last minute when he asked if I was ready to go, figuring I could not get away with it unnoticed, or when Kento tried on that tight jeans in another store and I felt myself entirely too attracted to him when he asked for my opinion, and those moments were a pleasant reminder that something had changed, after all, even if it was hardly perceptible from the outside. 

“It doesn’t really feel like a date” Kento noted anyways, when we were sitting in a corner of Saizeria, sharing a pizza and munching on our separate pasta dishes. “I mean, it’s fun, but, you know… normal?”

“Do you have any other suggestions, then?” I pursed my lips, huffing when Kento gently brushed his leg against mine under the table, but shook his head with a soft smile.

“Not really” he admitted. “I guess this is just the way it will always be between us…”

“Unromantic?” I frowned, and Kento made a face.

“Well, we have different interpretations of romance, anyways” he shrugged. “At most things I’d initiate, you’d just roll your eyes.”

“So it’s my fault?” I challenged, and Kento sighed, shaking his head.

“That’s not what I am saying!” he protested. “Forget it, it’s not important anyways. I had fun, and that’s all that matters. Sorry for bringing it up.”

I sighed, letting one hand disappear under the table to rest it on his knee, making him look up at me. 

“If you want to do romance, we can do romance, you know” I said seriously. “You shouldn’t have to be afraid of me making fun of it. I mean, I tease you all the time, but whatever makes you happy, I’ll go along with it.”

“Even Disney Land?” Kento raised an eyebrow, clearly joking, and I snorted.

“As long as you don’t make me wear any princess hair bands.”

“But think of the nice papa pics that would make” Kento laughed, and I was more satisfied with the bright smile on his face, returning to my food again. 

When we left the mall after dinner, it was already dark and we strolled around a little, bathing in the view of the Tokyo skyline at night. When Kento took my hand, I glanced around suspiciously but did not push him away. 

We talked softly and I did not particular pay any attention to where we were going until we found ourselves at the foot of the ferris wheel, and I grinned at Kento. 

“You said I could be romantic” he huffed, and I just squeezed his hand as I squinted at the prices. 

“Fine, but I’ll pay, since you sneaked away with the receipt for our dinner.”

Kento laughed at that, finally letting go of my hand, and I avoided all gazes of all employees 

as I got our tickets, hoping desperately that none of them recognized us. But I saw no excited whispering and no phones being pulled out for photos, so I relaxed once we were inside the small cabin of the ferris wheel, making our way upwards. 

Kento seemed quite smug, and it made me smile as I entwined our fingers again, scanning the landscape outside. 

“Now it feels more like a date” Kento announced, making me laugh.

“Tell me earlier, if it’s that easy!” I teased, but when Kento grinned at me in response, eyes shining beautifully, I could not help but lean in to kiss him. 

It was cheesy at its best, riding the Ferris Wheel at night and kissing hunched up in the cabin, laughing whenever the weight shifted and we lost our balance, but it was the first real couple-y thing we had done all day, and it lifted our tension, making us a tiny bit hyper as we left again, talking entirely too fast and smiling too brightly. 

I got struck by sudden inspiration when we passed a karaoke bar, and Kento was confused when I pulled him inside and got us a room for an hour, but he went along with it, only enquiring about my motives when we were in the room and I was eagerly putting random songs into the playlist.

“Not that I am complaining, but why do you want to sing with me now, of all times?” he asked, watching with raised eyebrows when I stood up, not to grab the microphones but to cut the light, leaving the screen as the only illumination of the room. 

“I don’t want to sing” I grinned, and understanding only dawned onto Kento’s face when I straddled him on the bench, brushing the hair out of his eyes to get a better look at him in the limited light. “What’s a first date without a proper hidden make out session?”

“I am pretty sure all you should be doing on first dates is a kiss goodbye” Kento laughed, but his arms wrapped around my waist to keep me close, clearly not opposed to the idea. 

“We messed up the proper order from the start” I shrugged, kissing a possible response from his lips, licking between them until he would part them to let me deepen it. 

I felt like we were getting better at _this_ , at least, at this physical part of our relationship, which was good but also probably a disadvantage, considering that we had to step out into public again after the hour had passed, as worked up and messy as we were. 

“This was a bad idea” Kento panted, letting his head fall back against the wall as I softly bit his throat, not enough to leave a mark, just grazing my teeth against his skin to make him shiver. 

“Do you want me to relief you?” I asked casually.

Kento whined at that, hands tightening where they were clinging to my biceps, hips thrusting upwards involuntarily, making me feel just _how_ uncomfortable he really was. Feeling Kento’s erection was still exciting to me, and it made me want to make him fall apart for me, which was what had me blurting out, even to my own surprise: “How about I blow you?”

Kento took in a sharp breath, and when I pulled away to scan his face, his eyes were wide and he was flushed, though that might have had to do with our prior activities.

“ _Here?_ ” Kento demanded, and I shrugged.

“The door is closed, and it’s not like they will come in to check on us. Plus, no one can hear you over the music anyways. You can be as loud as you want.”

“That’s not the point” Kento muttered, flushing an even deeper shade of red, and it made me smirk. 

“Just relax and let me take care of you” I whispered seductively, carefully getting up from the bench and sinking to the floor, spreading his knees to settle between them.

“If this is your way of making me agree to be the bottom, I-”

“Just shut up, Nakajima!”

And he did, dark eyes following my fingers as they unzipped his pants and reached inside, hissing when they closed around his shaft and pulled it free. I stroked it for a moment, eyes glued to it as my mind spun in nerves. I had never even gone down on a girl before, so this was new in every way possible, but as I glanced up to let my gaze wander over Kento’s flushed face and his disheveled state, it felt like a hand on my own cock and I threw all care to the wind as I leaned in, tentatively closing my lips around the tip and licking the slit, tasting the salty precome. 

Kento groaned, shaky fingers finding my hair, just fisting it, but not pushing or pulling, and I glanced up at him for a moment, meeting his gaze as he was watching me intently, and I felt weirdly heady, power flooding through my veins despite the submissive position I was in. 

The skin between my lips was soft and there was a pulse on my tongue as I took him in deeper, and I could feel him becoming even harder and bigger in my mouth and it was strangely thrilling.

I was careful about it at first, testing how much I could take in before gagging reflexes took over, but then I retaliated and wrapped fingers around the base, stroking what I could not cover, and Kento was moaning softly. 

I wished I could look up, see his face, but I was too focused on what was happening further down, licking and sucking and bobbing my head, and the noises Kento was making sounded really good, and they made _me_ feel really good, down where my own cock was straining against my clothes. 

I reached down with my unused hand, undoing my pants to free it, and Kento shifted before asking, his voice rough: “Are you touching yourself?”

I only hummed, the vibration or maybe the knowledge of me enjoying what I was doing to this extend making him whine, and I kept my eyes tightly closed and focused on it, Kento’s cock between my lips and mine between my fingers. 

When Kento breathed my name and pulled my hair, I knew it was a warning but I didn’t stop, sucking harder instead until I felt Kento twitch on my tongue. 

I needed to remember to swallow and to breathe when he came, but it was fine, and when I finally let him slip from my mouth and was able to look up at him, he looked sweaty and messy and just _perfect_ , making the movements of my hand speed up. 

Kento opened his eyes then, watching me, and with some hesitation, he pulled me up. 

I climbed his lap again eagerly, but Kento seemed dissatisfied with that position, squirming. 

“Move up the bench” he demanded, and I frowned, not sure what he had in mind, but then he manhandled me to move and I just went along with it, until I was on my back next to him on the bench and Kento was leaning over me.

I cried out when I felt his lips around my cock, registering somewhere in the back of my mind that the song playing was the karaoke version of our new single, and I whimpered because I would be unable to think about anything but Kento sucking me off while singing that song now. 

I had no time to ponder much over it though, because I had already been close before Kento had started and now, with the tight heat of his mouth around me, I was rapidly breaking apart. 

It couldn’t have taken more than two minutes for me to come because the song was still going when I came down from it, panting, and I would have been embarrassed if Kento was not hugging me and petting my hair, and yeah, this was not about endurance.

“So” I murmured breathlessly. “How high is this first date in the worldwide ranking? Did I do well?”

“I dunno” Kento grinned. “I got kisses on a Ferris Wheel and a blowjob in the karaoke bar. It might make the top 50.”

I dug my fingers right into Kento’s sides, hard, and even though Kento was not particularly bothered by it he laughed as I stubbornly continued, never having been able to accept that I couldn’t find any ticklish points on his body when he knew all of mine, and Kento left me to it for a minute until he retaliated by sneaking his fingers to my armpits, making me squeal. 

***

“So” Kento murmured, poking his chin into my chest as he looked at me, sheets hanging half over his head and making him look adorable to me. “Are your plans for tonight already over here, or…?”

Kento had chosen to spend the night over a goodnight kiss, despite me teasing him for how easy he was being, but I was thankful now that we had slipped into my bed, relaxed and even more touchy-feely than before. 

“I don’t know” I said airily, reaching out absentmindedly to run my pointer finger over his soft lips. “Do you have anything in mind?”

Kento snapped after my finger, biting down on it gently, looking prouder than my dog when he brought me balls I had thrown out for him, making me laugh. 

“I don’t know” Kento asked when he let go of my finger, playfully smoothing his hand over my stomach, grinning up at me sheepishly. “I am not tired yet and we could still do some more… stuff…”

“You are a perv” I said mildly, sighing at the way his fingers felt running over my skin. 

“Says the guy who went down on me in a karaoke bar.”

“Well, you obviously enjoyed it!”

It was not like the fact that we had swiftly gotten rid of most our clothes before getting into bed did not imply that we had had more touching in mind from the start, though, and when Kento’s fingers slipped over the waistline of my underwear, it made me feel tingly and very inclined to whatever Kento had in mind. 

Instead of slipping his hand underneath, though, he rested it there and leaned up to kiss me, slow and leisurely and coaxing, and soon my skin was pleasantly buzzing with it. 

I let my own hand wander down Kento’s back until I could brush them over his butt, and struck by sudden inspiration, I pulled away and asked: “How about we finger each other?”

Kento seemed to be confused at that idea, and before he could point out again that he was refusing to be the bottom during our first time, I continued: “Well, there is no doubt that both of us will want to top at some point, which means we both have to be bottoms, eventually. So we should be prepared for that, shouldn’t we? Maybe it’s time we practice a little. Both of us.”

Kento nodded slowly, licking his lips. “That sounds… reasonable.”

I hummed in agreement, though I found the idea appealing for different reasons than logic. I had imagined it a lot lately, Kento right here on this bed, squirming as I moved my fingers inside of him, and now was the perfect opportunity to set that fantasy into action.

“Who starts, though?” Kento enquired, and before I could come up with a good response that was not a simple “Me. Because I want to.”, Kento had already raised his fist in an obvious challenge. 

I grinned and retaliated by copying him, and we jankened over 3 rounds until Kento won in the end, paper beating stone. 

“Seriously?!” I groaned, whining as Kento kissed me softly.

“I’ll be gentle with you” he promised teasingly, and I had to stop myself from kicking him. 

“Whatever” I grumbled, stretching out on the bed pointedly. “Let’s get it over with.”

Kento did not let my obvious pessimism discourage him, instead kissing down my neck, my chest and my stomach, licking down my happy trail and hooking his fingers into my underwear. 

I let him undress me, trying to not freak when he spread my legs and kneeled between them, even though I felt tensed and exposed and ready to clam up. 

“Do you have stuff we can use?” Kento asked suddenly, seeming surprised when I nodded and reached for the drawer. “Did you just go into a store to buy it, or…”

“No” I admitted grudgingly, blushing. “I found it in my room one day after returning home, in a bag with condoms and a note from my Mum telling us to be safe.”

“That… is not embarrassing” Kento noted in a choked voice, and I just snorted as I pushed the little bottle of lube into his hand. 

“Whatever, it’s practical” I shrugged. “And saves us a lot of trouble.”

Kento nodded, taking a deep breath before he finally uncapped the bottle and poured some liquid into his hand. I watched him as he slicked his fingers, strangely fascinated by it, only looking away when his gaze wandered between my legs, flushing and closing my eyes. 

It was hard to keep my breath even and my legs opened, because as much as I had desired Kento for a long, long time now, I had always had trouble imagining myself in _this_ position, and though I loved and trusted Kento and knew that he was the only person I would ever submit myself to like this, I could not quite shake off my nerves. 

When a slick finger touched my rim, just brushing over it, it felt electric, better than I expected, and it made me jerk and open my eyes to look at him. 

Kento was watching my face, one hand on my hips, fingers soothing, and the other continuing the featherlight touches, making me fist the pillow underneath my head. 

The touches won pressure soon, turning to gentle prodding and when Kento slipped the first finger inside, excruciatingly slow, I turned my face into the pillow to muffle my noises. 

“Does it hurt?” Kento enquired, halfway inside, making me look up again to meet his eyes with some difficulty. “Guide me a little, will you?”

“It doesn’t hurt” I brought out, and it was the truth, even though I had expected it to. “It’s just… different. I can’t explain.”

Kento nodded, seeming satisfied with that for now and proceeding to press deeper inside. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, concentrating on the touch and the sensations it gave me. It felt strange, to be filled that way, but every time Kento moved, electricity shot through my veins and I was not quite sure what to do with it. It was not pleasure, not quite yet, but it made me want to squirm in search for an outlet for it, like I would explode just by keeping these sensations inside. 

Kento had slowly started moving his finger in and out, circling it every now and then, and I heard the low whimpers escape my mouth without realizing that I was making them, and Kento reached out to stroke over my cheek. 

“Tell me when to stop” he demanded, and when I opened my eyes, I could see the insecurity in his expression, so I quickly shook my head.

“Just… keep doing that” I breathed. “I need to get used to it.”

Kento nodded, and for a while, it was really all he did, the steady in and out and the movements of that finger. 

When he pressed a second finger inside, I braced myself for it, but it went easier than expected, felt just a little more, and more intense, and after a while, even the pressure became less. I was opening up to him, I realized just in the moment Kento’s fingers brushed a new spot, and I gasped loudly, jerking helplessly, making him freeze. 

“Fuma?” he asked, and I gulped as I fought for air.

“I… again” I murmured, and he nodded, moving his fingers, searching, and when he found it again, I threw my hand over my mouth to muffle the whimpers. 

Kento reached out, fingers closing around my wrist drawing my hand away, and I looked at him almost pleadingly. 

“I want to hear you” he whispered. 

“You will not be the only one hearing me, though” I panted, because even though I knew that the whole house was already sleeping, I was paranoid of letting any noises slip to them. No need for my family to know any more details about my love life than they already did. 

Kento’s answer to that was a kiss, so soft that it blended in with the sensations when he prodded that spot again, but effectively muffling most of the noises that escaped my lips. 

_This_ , this was definitely pleasure, as intense as I had never experienced it before, and I was not sure what to do with it. My hands wrapped around Kento’s shoulders, grabbed his hair for anything to hold onto, and I wanted to - I was not sure what I wanted, to come maybe, and I considered asking him to touch my cock, but I could not even find the focus to speak. 

It did not turn out necessary, though, as the sensations suddenly became too much, and the only warning I got was a whole-body-shiver as I came, so intense that I lost track of everything. 

My mind was spinning and my limbs were tingling and my chest was heaving in the desperate need for air, and Kento was touching me, a wet tissue cleaning my skin, palms stroking over my face, my arms, my legs, and it only added to the aftershocks. 

“Fuma?” he asked finally, and I tore my eyes open with some effort, finding him leaning over me, watching my face intently. I scrambled for something to say, but my brain cells hadn’t regrouped yet, and Kento smiled as he brushed my hair out of my eyes. “Wow, that good?”

“I…” I started, but didn’t know how to continue, and Kento gently kissed my lips and laid down to pull me into his arms. 

It took a few more minutes till I was coherent again, and when I actively found Kento’s lips for another lingering kiss, he smiled against them.

“You have no idea how hot that was” he whispered, and I groaned, hiding my burning face in his neck. 

“Glad you enjoyed yourself” I noted drily, but then I became aware of Kento’s clothed hardness pressing into my thigh and realized that he was probably not exaggerating with how much this had affected him. 

It made me perk up, remembering our deal, and saying: “It’s your turn.”

Kento sighed, reluctantly rolling onto his back, looking at me.

“Go ahead” he said simply.

“Not protesting anymore?” I raised my eyebrows, but sat up, looking around for where Kento had dropped the lube. 

“I am kind of curious if it really feels as good as it looked” he chuckled, making me grin as I finally found the little tube half-hidden under the blanket, picking it up.

My mind was still buzzing a little from the orgasm, so it felt really good to touch Kento’s skin to remove the last bit of his clothes, and when I settled between his legs, I felt a little like a was floating. 

The lube was cold when I poured it into my hand, and I frowned at that, taking my time spreading it over my fingers, hoping it would warm. Kento stretched his legs at my sides, obviously trying to settle and make himself comfortable before pulling them up again, planting the soles of his feet onto the mattress, waiting. 

My eyes found Kento’s rim, and I reached out to touch it automatically. It twitched at my touch, and Kento breathed in deeply as I circled it in an imitation of what he had done to me earlier. 

“I’ll start” I warned him, and Kento nodded, but when I pushed inside, I got barely more than the fingernail in before he hissed and pressed his eyes closed, trembling, and it made me hold in immediately.

“Does it hurt?!” I asked, slightly panicking when Kento nodded. “Why does it hurt?! It didn’t hurt when you did it to me!”

“I don’t know” Kento groaned out, twitching when I moved my finger just a tiny bit. 

“Damn” I muttered, reaching for his trembling hand. “Please, Kento, relax, or this won’t work.”

“I thought I was relaxed” he murmured, and I squeezed his hand. 

I had read up on this, of course, had known that it could hurt unless you were used to it, but I had always just assumed that if I went slow enough, it would work out, especially since it had worked so well with me just minutes before. 

But obviously, though we were both men, our bodies were different and reacted differently to being penetrated like this, and it made me feel helpless to know that I was hurting Kento in any way.

I leaned in to kiss Kento, the only way I could think of to help him relax, trying hard not to move my finger for a long while as I tried to distract him otherwise, and Kento let me coax him in, even though the tension was still in his body. 

When I finally pressed deeper inside, it was slow and tentative, holding in every centimeter or so to make sure he was okay, and Kento just kept kissing me stubbornly, not giving me anything to judge from, and it was kind of nerve-wracking. 

When I finally was in to the second knuckle, he pulled away to pant for air, and I stroked back his hair and searched his face, desperate for any kind of feedback. 

“Does it still hurt?” I murmured.

“A little” he whispered.

“Shit, I am sorry” I whined, feeling more than a little guilty because this was not how I had imagined this. In my fantasies, Kento had always enjoyed this part. 

“Just… keep going slowly” Kento suggested, trying to smile. “I will get used to it eventually…”

I nodded, going back to kissing him because at least I knew how to do that much, and Kento was eagerly running his tongue over my lips in response, deepening it immediately. 

I could feel how tight Kento was around me, clenching at every movement, and pulling out seemed almost as difficult as pushing back in, despite the lube, Kento’s muscles desperately fighting the intrusion. 

It seemed to barely become better either, no matter how many times I repeated the movement, and I pulled back from the kiss, asking him breathlessly: “Is this really any use?! Because if it just hurts you I am going to stop, I don’t want to-”

“It’s getting better, Fuma” Kento interrupted me. “Just keep going like this, it will be fine.”

“You’re not lying to me?” I checked, knowing Kento’s tendency to keep quiet when he was uncomfortable far too well, and Kento chuckled. I could feel the vibrations of it where my finger was inside of him. 

“I’m okay, Fuma, really. Sorry for being difficult.”

“Don’t apologize, idiot” I muttered

Kento was smiling as he searched my lips again, and I continued, slow in and out motions until finally, I could really feel a result, could move and twist my finger relatively freely. Kento was breathing harder now, sweat having broken out all over his body, but it’s not like I wasn’t used to that, and he was still clinging to me, still desperately trying to keep the kiss going, no matter how difficult it was through his panting. 

The second finger went in easier, as I was glad to find out, and I started moving them more intently, searching.

“Ah” Kento gasped, pressing his face into my neck, and I smiled almost in relief because I was finally sure that I was making him feel good. 

The rest was easier. I bathed in Kento’s muffled moans when I brushed that spot again, petted his hair as his body trembled, and kissed his shoulder and whatever part of him I could reach in that position. 

He went over the edge with a choked moan of my name, muscles pulsing around my fingers, and I held him against me with my free hand, feeling the need to hold him together even as he was falling apart. 

I only pulled my fingers when he had stilled completely, letting myself fall onto the mattress next to him and holding him tightly, focusing on the pulse I could feel against my lips as I pressed them to the skin of his neck, waiting until it slowed down.

I pulled away when Kento stretched gingerly, stroking his damp hair back and looking at him worriedly.

“Are you okay?” I checked.

“Yes” he chuckled. “It felt really good, stop fretting.”

“I’m still sorry it hurt, though” I mumbled. “That wasn’t my intention.”

“That’s what we’re practicing for” Kento smiled, finding my hand and entwining our fingers. 

“True” I smiled back. “Now we just need to decide who tops.”

Kento laughed tiredly, holding up his fist, and I raised my eyebrows.

“You want to janken over it?!”

“Do you think we’ll ever decide if we don’t?”

“You have a point there.”

It took two rounds and stone against scissor for me to lose, and though I whined at Kento, I couldn’t have cared less, really. 

“Like this, it will at least be a proper first time” Kento noted, playing with my curls. “For both of us.”

“You’d better be gentle, or I will kick your ass, Nakajima!”

“ _You_ were not the one hurting tonight.”

“....”

Kento chuckled as he kissed my lips, settling in my embrace, and I figured that, as long as we were close and touching, I really didn’t care about things like top or bottom and manly pride. I wanted to be with him completely, in every way possible, and that was all that mattered.

***

We had taken enough detours in this maze of relationship that I had understood the effort and care that was needed to make it work, but it still took me off guard when we ended up fighting for the first time after we had started dating. 

And for once, I had honestly no clue what I had possibly done to tick Kento off. 

We had been out for work all day, photo shootings and variety show filmings, and I had been in the best mood because we had run into some of my friends from the GTO cast in the corridor, and when I had returned to our dressing room to pack my things and maybe ask Kento to have dinner together, he had started bitching about nothing, and somehow, it had escalated. 

I had been fuming when I had driven home, but it had not even taken 20 minutes for my anger to turn into a dull ache, and when I finally let myself fall onto my bed, my eyes traveled across the room to find a picture Kento and I had taken together not long ago, and it made me press my face into my pillow to groan in frustration.

I had always hated fighting with Kento, but now that we had finally admitted to our feelings for each other and were closer than ever, it was almost unbearable. 

I kept grumbling to myself and rolling around in my bed for 6 more minutes before I reached for my phone, and just in the moment I wanted to speed dial Kento’s number, his Caller ID flashed up on my display. It made me smile softly as I took it.

“Hey” I murmured, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes.

“I’m sorry” Kento muttered, voice low and subdued. “I said too much earlier.”

“Yes you did” I sighed, fumbling with one of my rings as I asked: “What happened?”

“It’s stupid and you will laugh at me” Kento whispered, and I snorted. 

“I am always laughing at you” I reminded him. “Still I’d like to know what ruined your mood like this. I don’t remember doing anything.”

There was a short silence, and then, Kento groaned to himself before he finally admitted: “I was jealous. There. Mock me.”

I only blinked, inwardly replaying the events of the day in my head, before spluttering out: “Of _who_?!”

“The girls of your GTO cast” he huffed. “Especially Sairi-Chan. She was all over you even when you introduced us, and… I don’t know. It set me off, okay.”

“She is just a friend, Kento” I protested, immediately defensive. “Sure, we might get a little touchy every now and then, but if anything, she is more like a sister to me. Also with the others. You _know_ there is nothing going on!”

“I know” Kento returned, and I could hear the frustration in his voice. “I know and I trust you but seeing her play with your hair and hook her arm through yours… It suddenly made me seem out of place, and it hurt.”

I bit my lip, guilt creeping through me as I remembered what Kento had just described, tried to imagine what it must have looked like to him, who I knew was chronically insecure about practically everything. Especially since he realized I had only been with girls in the past. 

“It’s just… my feelings for you are so intense” Kento breathed into the speaker. “I want you to myself all the time. I don’t want you to look at anyone but me. But I know that’s impossible, because you are the biggest social butterfly that I have ever met, and I like that about you, but it also… leaves me in fear. That you will find someone more interesting than me some day, and leave me behind.”

“That won’t happen” I said indignantly. “I never strayed from you in more than 6 yrs.”

“And that alone is a miracle.”

“It’s not. We have a bond, and you know that as well as I do.”

Kento sighed, before whispering: “I want to hold you now.”

His words made my skin tingle because I wanted that too, more than anything, both to make him understand how much he meant to me and to reassure myself. I knew that I should probably feel restricted by Kento’s jealousy, but instead, I felt the need to reassure him. It was not rational, but I figured that maybe, this was what they called ‘love’.

“It’s not that late” I answered finally, throwing a look at the clock, confirming that it was just past 7pm. “You can still come over.”

“You want me to?” Kento checked. “I am forgiven?” 

“You are. Now get here and cuddle me.”

I didn’t need to tell Kento twice, but even as he had hung up, I could not shake off his words. 

I felt like I was on the edge of figuring something out, something I had been missing in all my prior relationships, and it had to do with protectiveness ruling over defensiveness, the need for proximity winning against the urge to win an argument, the strive for security beating the fight for freedom. 

Or maybe, it was just about admitting to something I had always been afraid of until now, only that my feelings for Kento made me stronger than I had ever been before. And maybe it was time I made that clear to Kento, to tell him how special he really was to me. 

I had made up my mind when he knocked at my door, probably having been let in by my mother, and I got up as I called for him to come in, eyes zooming in on his face as he peeked inside. 

Kento seemed still hesitant as he slipped into the room and closed the door behind himself carefully, dropping his bag to the floor. He was about to speak up, but cut himself off when I was right in front of him, cupping his face with my hands.

I caught his eyes for a moment, and the silence tasted raw between us before I finally made myself talk.

“I love you” I said simply. “Enough to discard what I thought was my sexual orientation, and to risk my career should we ever be found out. I love you more than anyone I ever met, and not because of who you are trying to be but because of who you are underneath that mask, including your insecurities and doubts and all the uncool and complicated sides to you. They make you who you are and I love you _because_ of them. And even if I get along with other people, they could never replace you, because… because they are not _you_ , and if it’s not Nakajima Kento, it’s just plainly _wrong_ to me. So don’t you ever think that I could leave you behind, because I think that’s completely impossible to me. I need you.”

When I was done, my breathing was ragged and I seemed physically exhausted from the confession. I was not good at talking about feelings, and especially not at saying “I love you”, but the way Kento was staring at me, his eyes swimming in tears he was trying to hold back, I knew that he had needed to hear it. 

I leaned in to kiss him, not bothering to wait for a response, and it was amazing how intense the relief of coming together like this even after such a small fight felt. Kento was trembling as I wrapped one arm around his waist, but he was clinging to my shoulder and kissing me back with a determination that ran slight shivers down my spine. 

When we broke apart, I needed to remind myself to breathe because my head was spinning, but Kento continued splattering kisses over my jawline, to my ear, his tongue coming out to trace the shell of it. 

I felt weak in my knees, fingers clumsy as they found their way under Kento’s shirt, needing to feel more of him, of his skin and his warmth, and when Kento whispered into my ear, I could feel his breath against it and it added to all the sensations that made my skin buzz. 

“I love you, Fuma. I love you.”

I appreciated the heat in those words almost as much as the sentiment behind them, and when he punctuated them with wet kisses that made their way down my neck, I had to push us slightly apart to get some air into my lungs and words out of my mouth. 

“Bed” I panted, making Kento grin at my eloquence, and I rolled my eyes as I grabbed his wrist and pulled him along. I had a feeling where this was going ago, and I was in no mood to have our first time pressed up against the door. 

I pushed Kento onto the mattress, but leaned over to my bedside table instead of joining him right away. Opening the drawer, I quickly fished out lube and condoms, placing them on the surface before crossing the room and locking the door. 

When I turned to him again, Kento was pushing his head up from the pillow with his elbow, watching me with a blazing look in his eyes, and it made me shudder even though we were not touching.

“You want to do it?” he checked, his voice rough, and I took a deep breath before nodding.

“I want you” I breathed, the statement not purely physical but mostly emotional, and I pulled off my shirt in an afterthought before making my way over to him. 

Kento let me straddle him, let me take control for now, and it made me feel less insecure, less vulnerable with the knowledge of what was to come. But I should have known that topping and bottoming was not a question of dominance or power, not for us, because the balance Kento and I had didn’t allow for one of us to prevail. Instead, it felt almost like a division of lyrics to a song we were singing - each had their own part, and sometimes one might have to shadow the other, but all in all, it was about the music we made together, and this, this wasn’t any different, really. 

Kento’s fingers skimming over my skin was nothing new anymore, not the way it was a few weeks ago, but it hadn’t lost its attraction one bit - if anything, it was like the more I felt of him, the more intense it got, because I was less overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of the situation and more focused on Kento himself. 

He let me undress him, one piece after another, vest, shirt, pants, socks, underwear, and with each piece landing on the floor, new skin to mouth was exposed, and I made good use of it, exploring Kento’s body anew and enjoying every second of it. 

I was barely aware of when things started to tilt into the other direction, when Kento became more active and started to turn the tables a little, but I was fine with it, too distracted by his attention to freak. 

Kento had by now mapped out all of my weak points, collarbones, nipples and the insides of my knees and thighs, and when he reached for the lube, I was sweaty and shivery and didn’t care about anything but feeling infinitely more of him.

Kento kissed me as he prepared me, long and lingering, and it felt even better than it had the first time, maybe because I was more sensitized tonight or maybe it was really a matter of practice, I was not sure. Kento’s touch felt electric, and one finger easily became two, and two three. Kento pulled away from our kiss when it became a struggle for me to breathe, stroking my hair back with his free hand and watching my face, and I felt like turning away and hiding because being stared at like this still was awkward to me, but I just closed my eyes and concentrated on getting some air into my lungs instead. 

Kento’s fingers found my prostate then, and I moaned loudly, clasping a hand over my lips and hoping my skin was already flushed enough that the new blush creeping over my cheeks was not noticeable to Kento. 

“Let me hear more” Kento whispered, twisting his fingers purposefully, and I whimpered against my palm, fisting the sheets underneath me.

“My family is downstairs, Kento” I reminded him weakly, biting my tongue when he continued prodding the spot, making me tremble. 

“When they let me in, your father was playing guitar and singing with your sister, and we don’t hear them up here either” Kento rolled his eyes. “I think the walls are thick enough for a few moans.”

“You don’t know that for sure” I groaned, gasping when Kento pulled his fingers out a little only to thrust them back in. “Damn Kento, it’s enough already! Just get going!”

“You sure?” Kento asked, scissoring his fingers once to see how far he could move them, making me squirm.

“Fuck _yes_ ” I hissed, thankful when he finally retaliated and withdrew his fingers. 

I was faster in reaching for the condoms, glad to have some kind of task to distract myself, and Kento watched me as I tore the wrapping and unpacked it. I sat up a little to roll it onto him, taking my time to stroke him and lube him, and Kento’s grip tightened on my thighs in search for a fragile control. 

“Okay” I said finally, taking a deep breath and leaning back against the pillows again.

The nerves were definitely back now, making me tremble, but I kept reminding myself that I was not having second thoughts about this. We had this settled. It was Kento, and I trusted him, and I would get to feel him. It was a good enough deal. No need to freak. 

I met his eyes when Kento cupped my cheek, scanning my face. His fingers were shaking too and there was insecurity in his eyes and somehow that made me feel better. 

Kento was right, this was really like a proper first time. It somehow made it easier.

I smiled as I leaned up to catch his lips with mine, pulling up my knees a little and urging Kento with a hand on the small of his back to move. 

I gasped into the kiss when I felt Kento’s tip align with my entrance, the contact alone feeling electric, and somehow, it turned out to just come down to how much I wanted him. Screw everything else.

“Do it” I whispered against his lips, and when Kento obeyed, I closed my eyes and focused on it. 

It didn’t hurt, not that I had expected it to, but it was - in need for a better expression - _more_ , and it took my breath away, the pressure overwhelming all my senses. I only took a shaky breath when Kento had bottomed out, the air burning in my lungs, and I dared to open my eyes and look down my body. 

It was mind-blowing, to see where Kento was disappearing inside of me, and for a few seconds I just stared dumbly, before I took note of Kento fisting the pillows next to my head and looked up at him. 

He was biting his lips desperately, frowning in concentration, and I could tell how much of a strain it was for him to hold still. It made me smile and reach up to brush fingers through his sweat-dampened hair, and he caught my eyes. 

“Okay” I breathed, distracted by his jumping adam’s apple when he gulped. “Go ahead.”

“One second” he murmured, and I nodded, running featherlight touches up and down his back, marveling in the way his muscles felt under my fingertips, letting him take deep breaths before finally, some of the tension seemed to flow out of his body. “Okay, I think I can move now” he noted. “Without embarrassing myself.”

That made me laugh, and Kento made a choked noise, grabbing my hips to still me.

“ _Don’t_ ” he whined. “You are not helping, you know!”

“Sorry” I grinned, gulping down the chuckles. Kento glared at me halfheartedly before squaring his shoulders.

“Okay” he repeated. 

“Okay” I nodded, still amused, but the smile faded from my lips as Kento pulled out slightly to thrust back inside. 

The friction was incredible, and moans escaped my lips, but before I could try to muffle them Kento was thrusting in again, and again, and I was losing grip. 

Kento’s cock felt different than his fingers had, and every movement sent tingles up and down my spine. My senses were on overload, and it was all I could do to cling to him and hope that my noises really wouldn’t carry downstairs.

Kento was no quieter than me, but I had always known that he was vocal, had guessed it even before we had started going out, and his voices blended in with all the sensations, stimulating me even more. 

He soon found a rhythm, his thrusts becoming deeper and surer, and they brushed my prostate every now and then, making me whimper his name, and it seemed to fuel him on, because the next thrust always seemed even deeper, even harder, and I felt like I would suffocate because I was unable to get enough air into my lungs. 

“Fuma” Kento whispered, lips brushing against where his face was pressed into my neck, making me shudder. “I’m close.”

“Me too” I breathed, jerking as his next thrust hit me just right. “Touch me. Please.”

Kento needed to fumble a little until his fingers closed around my cock, and it made me cry out and arch my back. He pumped me shakily, not quite matching the rhythm of his hips, but it was enough, more than enough for how hopelessly overstimulated I was, and when I came, it felt like the pleasure was consuming me and I was soaring. 

I was almost surprised to find myself still on the bed when I opened my eyes, just in time to see Kento lose it. I had always thought Kento’s face looked too sensual, but it was nothing against the way his orgasm washed over his face in this moment, and I knew that this expression would be engraved into my memory forever now. 

I huffed when Kento collapsed on top of me, still panting, but his weight was comfortable, grounding. Keeping me from flying, maybe. 

“That” Kento brought out, voice rough and ragged from his heavy breathing. “I - you -”

“Is this supposed to become a sentence?” I chuckled, and Kento whined, making me pet his messy hair. He was adorable when he was fuzzy minded and brain dead. “Yes, it was amazing, if that was what you wanted to say.”

Kento only hummed, and I laughed, tightening his arms around him. 

***

“We need to have a word” Marius noted, and the way he and Shori and Sou stood in one row, dead-serious (well, or as serious as Sou could get, really) and looking down at us in a business-like manner. 

Kento turned his head to look at me in confusion - we were sitting on the couch, me with my phone in my hand, Kento leaning with his back against me, reading a new volume of his manga. 

When we looked up at the younger ones again questioningly, it was Shori who spoke up, seeming exasperated. 

“We are not stupid, you know” he informed us. “We know what’s going on!”

“That’s one of us” I murmured, and Kento was sitting up tentatively, as if afraid to move. 

“There is something going on between you!” Marius huffed. “We don’t know when it started, but we can see it. Don’t try to deny it.”

My jaw set, and I glanced over at Kento, who was raising his eyebrows as Sou fought a smile, seeming not nearly as indignant as the other two.

“Just say it already” Shori demanded with a role of his eyes. “It’s not like we will judge you or anything. But this hide and seek is ridiculous!”

I cleared my throat, glancing at Kento once more before nodding.

“Yes” I admitted. “We are dating. Have been for a while now.”

Sou grinned like we had gotten him a real capybara for Christmas, and Marius nodded once, smiling in satisfaction. Shori still raised his eyebrows at the statement.

“You have thought this through, then?” he checked. “It’s not going to end in screaming and tears - at least from Kento’s side?”

“Hey” Kento perked up, and I snorted. 

“We are very serious, don’t you worry” I ensured him. “After all, we have kids together, we know our responsibilities.”

Shori rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his smile when Kento stuck out his tongue at him. 

“As long as you are happy” Sou announced, and Shori mumbled something about killing the management if they suggested more 3nin activities, and just like that, the subject was dropped. 

“Well, that was easy” Kento noted when we made our way to his car later that day. 

“Sou ships us more than the fans” I mumbled. “We will have to watch out what photos he leaks on his JWeb.”

Kento laughed, and I smiled as I inconspicuously linked our little fingers. 

“Your place, or mine?” I checked. “There is still a first time on our list.”

Kento was smiling, a slight blush on his cheeks, but no trace of hesitance in his voice as he answered: “Mine, it’s closer to my university and I need to get in earlier than you tomorrow.”

I nodded before getting into his car, thankful that I had packed the lube and the condoms in a hunch this morning.

Kento threw his bag onto the back seat and I took the opportunity to grab his shirt and pull him into a short kiss. Kento was smiling against my lips, and I thought fleetingly that maybe, we had finally found our way in this maze of relationship, and I could not be any happier. 


End file.
